Clown Corner: Awful Masks


What these people really look like when they go outside.

Peter Wujek, Business Manager

While the Coronavirus pandemic rages, many people are forced to find ways of protecting themselves and their loved ones. Some people knit or sew their own masks, while others fold bandanas. Today on Clown Corner, however, I will reveal the ones who missed the mark. The ones who had to improvise but failed miserably. In other words, the worst possible homemade masks.


As a PSA, masks are important to preventing the spread of COVID-19. A home-sewn mask can help keep germs out of the air at stores or at work. Another thing to note is homemade masks won’t stop you from getting the virus, but they provide a higher chance of preventing you from spreading it. I apologize if any information is incorrect, but I am writing with what I know, as of April 30th.

 The guy on the left is definitely one way to do it. I can’t speak on the effectiveness of this, but boy, does he look dumb. Imagine showing up to Jewel Osco to buy milk wearing that. Absolute clown that one.

This next one on the right is great for a few reasons. First of all, what is he doing? Seriously. A pot lid is not a great idea. My favorite part is that you can see his nose being squished. You can see how uncomfortable he is and how much that lid doesn’t fit in his hoodie. If you really wanna go outside, fold a bandana. Don’t use a pot lid. I can imagine the glass fogging up, and as a result, he has to use a little squeegee to wipe it off. Another absolute clown. 


Finally, we have this gem on the left. She is wearing a plastic bag. The one thing you aren’t supposed to do with plastic bags. The reason why you keep them away from children. It looks like there might be a hole near her mouth, but at that point, THE MASK IS USELESS. She will either be spreading COVID-19… or suffocating. Also, she doesn’t need to stock up on water. Our taps are still working people. Last time I checked, coronavirus isn’t gonna take a swim in your tap water just to infect you.


Seriously people, you all need to be staying home. If I catch any of you hanging out with friends or going to parties, you will absolutely end up on the next clown corner. It will be on sight, guaranteed. Hang in there. Stay safe and healthy. This has been Clown Corner, ‘rona edition.