“Guys, guys, please don’t screenshot my profile picture of this ugly monkey. I paid 400 dookiecoin for it; I swear it’s valuable.”

Do you hear how stupid you sound? Welcome back to clown corner, where today, we talk NFTs. The first thing that I have to address is the environmental concern. Producing and mining whatever crypto currency uses an insane amount of energy, which is not sustainable for our current earth. I find it deplorable that celebrities are cashing in on climate change, but with that out of the way, it’s clowning time.

Also, the art. Take a look at the picture to the left. Tell me that doesn’t look ugly. People are paying tens of thousands for this ugly monkey as a Twitter profile picture. That’s part of why NFTs are so clown-worthy. You are buying a PNG. Not a physical product. It’s a waste of your damn money. Now, imagine this. I take a little screenshot and now that NFT is mine. If you look at the next pictures, you can see that I added my signature to this ape.

It’s mine now. Literally, who’s gonna stop me? I made my own NFT and now I’m gonna sell it for twelve fartcoins. Hold this L.

My favorite part of this whole thing is how defensive people get. Twitter idiots are so mad when you bring up the idea that they spent a thousand dollars on a png profile picture that I can screenshot at any time. “buT tHe BlOcKChAin” I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE BLOCKCHAIN. Your Twitter profile is not the blockchain, so if I take the PNG, YOU CAN’T STOP ME. 

Another thing. Now, brands are getting in on it. I opened the  Instagram app and saw the official ‘adidasoriginals’ page with a bored ape profile picture. THE OFFICIAL ACCOUNT. WHY IS ADIDAS BUYING THE UGLY MONKEY PICTURE?!

Sorry. I lost my control there a little bit. The clowns got on my nerves. I guess it’s time to close it out. On this edition of clown corner, NFTs fail, I prevail ‘cause I’m a genius, and anyone who defends NFTs looks like a clown doing it. 

P.S. If you want, you can buy the cover image for the story for 12 BTC. I think it’s a fair price. DM me with offers.