Diary Of A Sad Black Extrovert
May 5, 2020
Hello everyone. My name is Milyn Ross and I, just like Dana, am an extrovert and let me tell you…this has been one crazy ride for me. I literally am going crazy, and I can’t even explain it. These are the rambles of my quarantine adventure, so I guess I should probably introduce myself. I love a lot of things. My favorite animal is a tiger. I really don’t know why but it’s been my favorite animal since I was a child. I have a YouTube channel which I honestly should be making videos for, but you know how that goes. I have a lot of siblings, and I do mean a lot, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world and they honestly make this easier yet harder at the same time. I love all of them, I really do but now I don’t even get a break from any of them. However, they do fulfill my need to talk to people so that’s good.
Before this whole thing started, I used to pride myself with being an ambivert. For those you who don’t know an ambivert is basically a hybrid of an extrovert and introvert. Like the perfect mix you know? I always thought this because I love being around people, I really do but then when I get home I like to be secluded to take my time alone. However, I am starting to think I am just a full on extrovert, which is causing my phone addiction to grow. I am ALWAYS on my phone trying to talk to my friends. Before this I would at least have the school day, and I wouldn’t go on my phone, because I would be surrounded by the people I wanted to talk to. Now I am constantly texting them and I can’t take my eyes off of it. Anytime I hear a buzz I instantly try to grab my phone to go and see if someone messaged me — which is such a sad way to try and spend your day.
However, I started to do this really cool thing. I like to call it how many episodes of “Criminal Minds” can I watch. I love it. There’s something about watching people that can understand the way a psychopath’s mind works that intrigues me. It’s a really great show and I highly recommend you watch it.
I don’t know about you guys, but I now function only in the wee hours of the night. I love it, I am totally not a day person at all. I wake up every day at like 1:00 o’clock in the afternoon and then right after that I get ready. Then I do my work which is honestly not that bad. Some teachers give more work than others. I don’t know why I’m telling you guys that since y’all are living it just as much as I am. When I am done with all my work I usually just lay around and watch Netflix. Occasionally I decide to play a game or two on my phone. When I’m not doing those things I’m probably listening to music. I have made a ton of new playlists. That’s another way I try to pass the time, even though it seems like time doesn’t exist anymore. Like who REALLY knows what day it is anymore.
Or I play a game called “How long can I think about the last 4 years before I start to cry.” Some days I do better than others, and if you want to try and tell me that you have not cried at all during this whole time I am going to be completely honest, you scare me. Personally I don’t see tears as some type of weakness, I see it as acknowledgement of pain. Sometimes that’s what you need to for the pain to go away, acknowledge there is pain so it can finally heal.
Alright well this was fun to rant and ramble about my struggles of being an extrovert. I think the happiest day of my life is forever going to be the day that I get to go out and be around strangers. I am going to just be hugging everyone. Oh, did I forget to tell you that I am a hugger? Yeah, well I’m an extrovert that loves human contact, can’t be too surprising. If you see me in the streets a hug or just acknowledgement of my presence would be nice. Thanks for the support. I appreciate it.
Stacey Welton • May 19, 2020 at 7:52 am
Milyn,
Thank you for your candor and willingness to share. I related to so many of your truths and even began to get a bit teary-eyed as I reflected on my time at Neuqua. It’s truly a special place with special people like you. Your comment, “Personally I don’t see tears as some type of weakness, I see it as acknowledgement of pain. Sometimes that’s what you need to for the pain to go away, acknowledge there is pain so it can finally heal” was powerful.
I wish you all the best on this next leg of your journey. You will continue to make a difference in every life you connect with, and people will be better because they have had the opportunity to know you.
Congratulations on graduating and best wishes!
Mrs. Welton